So, on Friday, I was at the way, and when I dropped the munchkin off in the childwatch center, I saw a sign, advertising for a new (I assumed) group forming in the area: Mothers of Preschoolers (or,
MOPs). Now, a lot of "mothers" groups are,
de facto "mothers-only" groups; that is, they will accept, albeit with
great reluctance, that man can be (1) decent and loving parents; (2) fully involved with their children's lives; and (3) that the rare creature known as the stay-at-home-dad (SAHD) does in fact, exist. But the overall atmosphere of most "moms groups" is such that few men return after a few sessions. (I am basing this on personal observations and experiences, as well as anecdotal evidence from some SAHD mailing lists.)
But MOPs is
de jure women-only. I found this out when looking over their site, in the forums section, since I didn't see it anywhere else. But that's not what has me really steamed - it was
this thread. In a nutshell, apparently there was (gasp!) a man(!!!!!) on the public forum. You would have thought that they were going to have an attack of the vapors.
"Gasp, Mildred! A man!" (swoons)
"Lock the door, Imogene, and bar the it! We must protect our virtue, lest this man, who has been seeking advice on parenting (which we know no men ever, ever do), he must be a letch, and mean all manner of ill upon our person!"
"Help me, sisters, for our hallowed ground has been profaned. Never again shall I feel safe, such was the nature of this violation."
Several of the women did try to point out that SAHDs have an even harder time than most SAHMs. After all, they said, the SAHDs break so many more of societal conventions, and most "parenting" groups or sites are, in reality, really only meant for mothers; and SAHDs are generally made to feel less than welcome. But in the end, their voice of reason and open-mindedness were drowned out by the ones who wanted the forum locked and barred against those who do not bear that second, all-important, X chromosome.